Three Days Till Retirement and The Battle Of The Boobs.

Three days left till the end of my working days. The longest three days of my life.

An office full of women including two millennials, no air conditioning in a Brisbane heatwave and a definite shift of power within the organisation are creating issues. There is electricity in the air.

As an observer I am fascinated. But I don’t want to be there. I’m just a soldier – I do my work, head down, butt in the air, forever forging through enemy lines, commando style.

Two younger women jockeying for position. Both very attractive, personable and capable girls with ambition. Both narcissists. It’s a battle of the breast implants. I’ve been having visions of Gary Cooper with 36DD boobs squaring off in High Noon.

Interestingly, despite being educated career women, their personal lives are train wrecks. Truly. One has been separated for twelve months and keeps crying poor. Lost everything, she moans. And is a Life Coach.

Do you know any Life Coaches? It may be a generalisation though it seems to me that all three Life Coaches with whom I am acquainted experienced multiple unhappy relationships. One has been divorced three times. Would you go to a thrice divorced Life Coach for advice, I have to ask?

The other just suffered a relationship breakdown. That’s ok. That’s Life. Happens to us all. Heartbreak helps mould us. In this case, she is prone to entanglements with drug dealers and dipsticks.

(LIFE LESSON 34 :  “ All that Glitters is not Gold”).

As for the millennials, the 21 year old openly admitted she didn’t like working with anyone over thirty five as they are “old people”. People, this is the direct result of not disciplining your recalcitrant children or teaching them respect. Lazy parenting.

( Note to Self : Impressive effort. You kept your mouth shut. Didn’t recognise you there for a moment. Book a Doctor’s appointment).

One of our ex staff members dropped in to say hello the other day bringing her fiancé. Charming fella – introduced himself, looked you in the eye, shook hands – a delightful man in his early 30s. Said millennial’s only comment was about his receding hairline. Guess what sweetie ? Doesn’t matter, you’ll find out soon enough…..

They tell me that my aura is in urgent need of a vacuum and my chakras require rebalancing. Easy fix. Jumping on an aeroplane and travelling 1000 klms south to where the “mountains meet the sea”, to a place that soothes the soul. Salt water, surf, sand and a Chardonnay or two is all this RETIRED girl needs to get back on an even keel.

Three more days. Suck it up, Buttercup.

NB.      Apologies for the vent. Apologies to any Life Coaches. Not really.